Why is that? Why do we manifest one little blip in a day into a great big ball of puke mixed in with baby poop. Sorry for the gross analogy but that's what it feels like, pukey baby poop sitting on our chest. We let is sit there and sit there and sit there until we EXPLODE; on our kids, our spouses and our loved ones. The dirty dish on the table didn't really bother us, but the earlier comment from school yard mom's "oh, so cute that you let your kids pick out your nail polish colour" did; uhm actually I like florescent orange with sun coloured polkadots. There is a colourful word that I would usually add after that but in case the kids are up this late on a Friday night, I will keep this PG.
How is it that a "sisterhood" of female comraderie sometimes feels like an episode from the Sopranos, where you turn your head for a split second and WHACK! your gone into heavenly episode repeats forever. I want to be more like a man! My man in particular! He is so non chalant, and lets everything roll off his back like a graceful waterfall. How DOES he do that? It's actually quite annoying. He is so happy go lucky. Maybe he knows something about life that I am just starting to discover. It's not that hard, just go with it baby. We're here for a good time not a long time, so have a good time the sun can't shine everyday....I'm actually singing, sorry :) But this is his everlasting mantra and he doesn't even know it
Earlier this week I saw Oprah's last episode. Did you watch it? Were you as glued to the television as I was? Did you think she was speaking to you? Me too. Did you expect her to come through the plasma screen and give you a big ol' hug and rock you back and forth saying, "It's alright child, I love you, you are great, you are important." in her ever soothing Oprah tone. Uhm yeah, me either. I was however super inspired. I was inspired to put down the books that tell me how I should live my life and just live it. To stop thinking, "what am i doing with my life?" I am doing something! I am being me, and that is the most important person to be, for me. I did feel validated and empowered. Empowered to be me. Who am I? I am ME! There is no other me and thank God for that because frankly I don't think the world would be ready for two of me, or two of you.
You are unique, your genetic make up says so, but so does your personality, the words you speak to me and each other, the way you part your hair and the way you smile at me and the friendly wave you give your neighbour as you put out your recycling.
The things I do and the people I see, day in and day out, make my life important and it makes their life important. It doesn't matter what our age is, I see it from little kids all the time, they just want to be heard, well me too. I want to be heard. I want to shout my not so meaningless words and shout my tuneless tunes all in the name of validation. Most of the time we just want someone to talk to, someone to listen. Not about the bad stuff that happens, but about our life. About our happenings. About the people we love. We want advice, we want companionship, but most of all we want to be heard. We may never know each other, we may never come into contact but maybe in a small way we can all inspire each other. At least this is my hope. My dream is to inspire. Inspire what? I don't know. I just want us all to feel the same way, loved, validate and important.
To the millions of you I will never know, you are my greatest love..... still brings chills to my spine.
Live from the Inside out,